The Guide To Being a Loser
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Maybe some of you have noticed recently that a personal attack has been launched against my blog and I.
As I read through the entry which took apart my latest entry I could not help but laugh. I thought of how ironic it is that losers have names that start with the letter "L". Lawrence, Lenny, and of course,
Louis.
Who could forget? The catalyst of his of his very own creation: "BLOG WARS".
So for no particular reason, I have decided to post:
The Guide To Being a Loser
Section One: "The do's and don'ts of Blogs"
1. Use immature words such as "Balls", "Dumbass", "***hole", "Bulls***" and "Pooping" on a online Journal (Blog, Xanga, etc.) to express limited thoughts and insights.
2. Incorporate over used throw away lines that everyone knows for maximum effect, followed by an unoriginal comedic device used in Japanese stand up comedy.
3. Distort photographs in an extremely obvious fashion. Add childish captions along with asymmetrical arrows to emphasize an obviously fictional claim.
4. Be as persuasive as your poor vocabulary and examples allow.
5. Incorporate websites in your own personal "Bookmarks" folder into entries.
6. Be Homophobic.
7. In a last attempt to receive as many comments:
A. Express pathetic dissatisfaction.
B. Use an ineffective threat to a very limited audience.
C. Admit to the truth.
8. In Attempt to sound dramatic, end the entry with a line that could have easily been ripped off of a movie trailer along with a title provocative to only extreme Star Wars fanatics.
Next Chapter: The Guide To Being a Star Wars Loser
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