*Disclaimer. I am not responsible for any nausea this entry causes due to its Corniness

The other day, I told someone that I had lost my Christmas spirit. I didn't think about it too much when I said it at the time. But once again, it got me thinking.

Although my family is not religious, we never fail to celebrate Christmas every year. We put up the tree decorating it with three tons of tinsel, ornaments and lights that always manage to get tangled after lying dormant in its box for the past year. We have a Christmas dinner, usually Turkey. And yes, we can't forget the presents. Presents of all shapes, sizes and weights, ranging from socks to Star Wars action figures.

When I was younger, I would always set aside a glass of milk and cookies for my big, red, jolly childhood hero. In addition, every year, my father would read me "The Night Before Christmas", before I retired to bed, too excited to sleep. I still remember that feeling of waking the next day. In my morning stupor I would sleepily rub my eyes not realizing that it was Christmas morning. A couple of yawns later, something would click in my head, and it would all come rushing back to me. I would run down the stairs and slide open the door to see a beautifully decorated tree sprouting out of a mound of colorfully wrapped boxes.

What is Christmas spirit? Is it your childhood faith in Santa? Is it about being good to your fellow man? Or is it feeling the magic that this season can bring to people's hearts?

Whatever it may be, these past few years I had been feeling a certain emptiness with the arrival of the Christmas season each year. My childhood excitement for the season had been replaced with my disgust of how commercial this holiday has become. Santa was long dead (At least to my knowledge), and my father had stopped reading me "The Night Before Christmas" some years ago.

But just a couple of days ago, a good friend told me how "Magical" Christmas can be. True, very corny. But for some odd reason, my auto-response, "Yeaaa", was genuine, and from the bottom of my heart.

This year, that emptiness, that hole inside me, seems to have been filled with another type of Christmas spirit. It's very difficult to put into words, but I feel as though the past few years has been a transition period. When I was young, Christmas spirit came from the presents, the milk and cookies, the dinners, and Santa. And now I realize, (At least in my book) that Christmas is about the ones you love. It's about saying thank you to all your friends and family for being there. It about appreciating the love you get from people all around you. It about giving, and not just material things.

Christmas spirit comes from the people you love. It is the feeling of connection. a bond. a relationship. This is what makes Christmas so special.

Right now as I type these words out, I can honestly say that I have regained my Christmas spirit. Now I'm starting to sound like a long hallmark card...yikes...I'll try to wrap it up before anyone barfs on their keyboard. (Probably too late).

I'll probably change my mind about the holidays in the coming years, again and again, but this year Im going to set up the tree (like we always do), drink some eggnog, and spend some time with friends, family, and my significant other and feel the Christmas magic from the bottom of my heart.

I'm saved! I don't have to be a scrooge this year.

I hope everyone has a "Merry, Merry Christmas. And a happy new year. Let's hope it's a good one. Without any fear..."

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 5:32 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.